Every so often I am reminded that no matter what we do in this life, there are people out there who will not approve. They may not like how you do something, why you do it, they might not like the colour of your scarf. Since we spend so much of our time with our immediate family, guess who gets the brunt of our complaints – deserved or not – yup your FAMILY.
Desmond Tutu once said that “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” He’s right of course but so too is Mark Twain when he took an older saying and made it his own….”Familliarity breeds contempt – and children.”
So how do we manage both sides of the coin ? Communication of course. But whe it comes to family lets not forget a healthy dose of serentiy, courage and wisdom…… “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Family knows your hot buttons, and nobody complains to someone more than they complain to family.
When dealing with family or anyone for that matter it is very important to make sure to listen to the person who is speaking, and simultaneously hear what they say and mean. Context also comes into play of course. If your mother is in pain it is more likely that she will express some sort of anger – and if you happen to be the person in the room, you end up being the target. This isn’t by any means an excuse for the anger, nor is it a justification. It is simply context.
Once we learn to list, hear and apply context we are able to start to address the problem. Then we can start to make an impact on a persons life. Sometimes of course it seems that people simply want to vent. That’s OK. It’s providing context. We all have the right to our emotions and we should feel free to share those emotions and thoughts with our family. Lets all just make sure that we understand without over-reacting to someones anger.
Words can be very hurtful, and often that hurt is felt the most acutely by the ones we love. No matter what is said or done, family is family.
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” 1st Peter 4:8
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1st Corinthians 12: 4-8
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
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